Today, while perusing through my emails, I ran across one that mentioned a month-long study of, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. It caught my attention for several reasons, one being, that grief and I have become inseparable, and I love the writings of C. S. Lewis.
Grief hits everyone, at one point or another. It will change your life in a negative way, and that negative effect can be permanent, or you can walk with grief on a learning journey, so to speak. I’ve read many opinions on grief, and one opinion that explains it well, is that grief is not the destination, but it’s a process or journey that we need to allow ourselves to feel.
In my experience, dealing with grief took longer than a year, which for some crazy reason people will expect you “to be over it”. How can you be over it when all the “firsts” are still happening, years and even decades after your loved ones have passed away. Grief has its own timetable, and it’s best if you and grief work together, in order to accept it, rather than try to force the grief to be gone, forever.
Over the years, after many losses, of people that I have loved dearly, and they all had an extremely significant place in my life, I’ve learned to walk with grief, rather than silence it. The more that I would push it away, because others were more comfortable with that, the more the grief would push back.
Grief and I becoming inseparable does not mean that I walk around in a state of depression, looking as though my name should be Eeyore. It simply means that I have accepted the inevitable… people will love you, and then they will be gone. They don’t leave you on purpose; it’s just time for them to go Home. God calls them.
The blessing of grief, and I know that statement may sound odd, but keep the following in mind and it will make perfect sense. The words of C.S. Lewis sum up grief better than any that I have read before, and I’ve read many. He states, “for the greater the love the greater the grief, and the stronger the faith the more savagely will Satan storm its fortress.”
To have people in your life, that you love beyond measure, is one of the greatest joys to experience. When they are no longer here that joy seems to evaporate. At first the memories are painful, maybe even too painful to think about; however, in time, those memories make you smile and may even cause you to shed a tear or two of happiness. If you can remember that it’s because you loved so dearly and they loved you, the grief becomes a part of you that you will learn to walk alongside, through the rest of your journey in life. You will learn to embrace it, because the love you had, and always will have, produces a faith in the good of this life, that no one can take away. God gave you the people that you are now grieving. What a joy to have been blessed by their presence; they truly were some of life’s most wonderful gifts.